Tuesday, May 30, 2006

My Mind goes blank

A few days ago someone asked me how I was doing and what was new in my life. I responded with an "ummm"..."errrrr", "let me think"...etc. I just realized that whenever I am asked that particular question; my mind goes blank. I told them, "I can tell you about my grandmother and how she is doing, but as for me...I'm not accustomed to telling others about what is going on in my life." So goes the pattern of the "caregiver", always in tune to the one you care for, but seemingly short on personal stories. All I usually say is, "I'm very busy." I laughed to myself a couple of days ago when asked once again - "so, what are you doing these days?" When I preceeded in telling this individual that I take care of my grandmother, she says to me..."Oh...so you're just hanging out with your gramma?...Wow, I wish I could do the same." I'm long past trying to explain to people that I'm not just "hanging out with my gramma". I get the feeling that sometimes people think that I'm just mooching off her! Ha ha ha! Nothing could be farther from the truth. I just smile and mention a couple more of the hats I wear but it doesn't seem to validate the initial occupation. Oh well...I am resigned to accept that anyone, who has never been a caregiver for an elderly person, will not understand me.

I post more to my family blog because my family is my life. Looking at the blog you would think we were having a never ending party! LOL! We've had many events in the last couple of months, our Traditional song and dance group has been performing a lot, I'm in council meetings and community meetings, traditional ceremony meetings and rehearsals and my June calendar is already splattered with ink of all colors.

The Saquaro cactuses are in bloom and our yearly harvest of Saquaro fruits will be coming up soon and I'm looking forward to retreating into the desert for some R&R O'odham Style...which usually includes hard work...but it's the kind of hard work that you can feel good about and at the end of the day when you hit your pillow, you know that you deserve a good night's rest. Can't wait to open the door of my tent and see the desert as the sun rises and feel the crispness of the morning. Nothing like a cup of coffee brewed over an open campfire!

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